I want to be free. I don’t know why. I want to leave here, but I have wanted that before and I have done so before and now I am someplace else and I still want to leave, I don’t know where. I imagine there’s something wrong with me. One cannot simply want to leave without reason, to run away and keep running forever. It isn’t natural, it isn’t right. But most of all, it isn’t fair. It isn’t fair that i should never be satisfied where I am. That I should go through my whole life feeling restless and unhappy over my relentless dissatisfaction. But why has god cursed me so? What have i done in my life that merits punishment from the heavens themselves?
But then I begin to wonder whether it is a punishment at all. Perhaps god instilled in me this restlessness as a way of telling me where i ought to be. Or perhaps to show me the things i have yet to lay eyes on. What scheme, or heavenly plan does the father have in store for me and why-why has he chosen me for it!
I lay awake in awe and anxiety each night, praying for an answer to theme questions, until one night I do not and in the dead of night I rise from my bed and dress. And as I arrive at the docs and pay my transport I take a glance back at the realm of common sense and ungodly men and I think them lucky fools. I take my ticket and enter the monster of a ship and i soon find myself on the deck, glancing out on the disappearing city and on the ocean growing thicker and wider, with no idea where I might find myself next.
shortstorylives 