Light and Suffering

Pain, so much pain. I can’t take it. They’re breaking me. I’m breaking, I just want it all to end. I feel myself cracking, crumbling like discarded day old bread. It burns, burns cold. Like the coldest driest ice, sticking to my skin and it won’t come off. The pain sears through me, my veins burning, something in me, take it out, please take it out. I need someone to help me. They have to help me. Someone please, help me! I’m all alone. No one’s coming. No one can stop the pain.

The sun, how I’ve missed the sun. It’s so dark here, so cold. I’m so cold. So alone. I’m terrified. I miss the sun.

I’m shutting down. I don’t feel or think. I stare into the abyss. I see someone. Someone weeping. Someone concerned. I closed my eyes and fall into it. When I open my eyes, I’m in my bed, surrounded by family. They say hello, they say it’s okay. It’s not ok. I can’t speak, why would I? What would I say? Nothing. I can even look at them. I don’t want to. I don’t want them to see me. I don’t want them to know I betrayed them. I told him everything, I gave them up. I’m ashamed and so I’m locked inside my head, traumatized.

I’m too scared anymore. I don’t care what happens to me. I can’t be any worse than what already has. I don’t care, or feel, or think, or move. They shake me asking and begging for me to wake up. I am awake, but all you see is a ghost. The say I’m strong I’ll get through this. Get though what? I’m not in pain anymore, why aren’t you happy for me? I stare at the sun. How I missed the sun, so bright and full of hope. All I could think about in that dark place was the sun and now it’s come to me.

Like my facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/shortstorylives


Leave a comment